2002-03-08
1:28 p.m.

I fucking hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you. You probably don't even know what happened, do you? You don't care enough to know.

That's fine, bitch. I'll tell you. I used to talk to Peth all the time before she stole my pepperoni WHICH MADE ME HATE HER AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU. And I would call her and we would talk about make up and N*Sync and boys we liked. And I told her about Jimmy. I told her all about how I had a crush on him and how he never actually spoke to me, but once I bumped into him in the hall and his books fell out of his arms onto the floor and he turned to punch me but just before his fist connected with my jaw he stopped and said, "you better run because I ain't never hit a girl before and I don't wanna start now." So I ran.

I told her all that you fucking cow. I told her.

So then we were out at The Grate and I saw Jimmy there and so I figured since he didn't hit me he liked me. So I decided to make my move because I was gonna be in the hospital the next week and I wanted him to bring me flowers and get well cards and hold my hand while I slept. So I needed to get started. He was with his friends at the bar and they were watching the game and he never was by himself. I started to get a little antsy so I took a hit of Ex and that calmed me down and I walked up to him and his friends and I tapped him on the shoulder and I said, "tomorrow I'm checking in to Our Lady of the Bath House Memorial Hospital and they're going to remove my third nipple. You can come visit me if you want."

And he turned to me and pretended he didn't know who I was. And his friends started giggling and snickering but he didn't, he just looked confused and then he said, "you have three nipples?"

And I said, "yeah."

And he said, "prove it, bitch. Show me."

So, I took off my shirt at the bar and I was wearing my special three cup bra that I invented myself and his friends started chanting "take it off, take it off" so I did and I was standing there naked and Jimmy wasn't too repulsed and then you walked in.

You made a fucking grand entrance like you were the queen of the Nile and he stopped looking at me and every eye was on you.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT! I REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAD THAT MULLET AND THE BLADDER INFECTION THAT MADE YOU HOWL LIKE A BANSHEE WHEN YOU PEED. AND THE SOUND WOULD RESONATE DOWN THE HALL OF THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL AND THE FIRST GRADERS WOULD MAKE UP GHOST STORIES ABOUT IT. ABOUT YOU! I REMEMBER ALL THAT YOU FUCKING FORMERLY MULLETTED BITCH! I REMEMBER AND I'M NOT GONNA FORGET!

So I turned to see what all the fuss was, and it was just you, and when I turned back around my clothes had been set on fire behind the bar and Jimmy was making his way up to you and you two found a table in the back and drank cosmopolitans and made out and I sat naked at the bar crying and people were poking me with sticks and it made me hate you.

IT MADE ME HATE YOU!

So I went home and I was still crying and I cut myself and now I have the word "MULLET" carved into my right thigh, and the hospital wouldn't remove my third nipple because they said I had psycho problems and they put me in a room with a girl who pulls out all her hair and eats it and I was there for three weeks. And it's all your fault!

I know you talk to Peth and I bet she told you how much I am in love with Jimmy. And you made out with him any way!

AND YOU'RE A FUCKING LESBIAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAKING OUT WITH MY MAN WHEN YOU'RE A GODDAMN QUEER LESBO DYKE? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?

YOU'RE A FUCKING GREEDY ASS DYKE BITCH AND THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

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