2002-03-12
1:54 p.m.

You know why I hate you.

But now I want the world to know. I want everyone IN THE WHOLE WORLD to know why I hate you.

Remember when we were in third grade and we used to play on the swing set in the park? And we would laugh and run and jump and skip rope? I remember.

I remember that spring day when we were playing freeze tag and base was that big elm tree out back. And we were running, and you were it. I got to the tree, but you said you tagged me and I said, no you didn't and you said yes I did and I said, no you didn't and you punched me in the stomach so hard I puked. And we laughed because we were having a good time.

And then we sat around my puke and poked at it with sticks and tried to identify what I ate, but all we knew for sure was that I ate the peas and corn from the hot meal at school. The rest was kind of orange, but I didn't eat anything orange that day so it was weird.

And then, you fucking bitch, then you started in on me about how big my feet were. You started in on me in that MOTHER FUCKING WAY YOU ALWAYS USED TO! YOU WERE AN ABUSER AND I HATE YOU FOR ABUSING ME, YOU ABUSER!

You just wouldn't let up. You wouldn't stop. "Look at her feet!" you'd say. "You could sail to China on them gun boats!

"I hope you grow up to be tall because you'll never get to be a nurse with feet that big. They don't hire nurses in vet's offices who have feet like that. They're afraid you'll stomp the life out of puppies and not even know you're doing it! You'll have to be a lesbian and coach basketball in public school. It is all you can hope for."

So I started to cry because I didn't want to be a lesbian gym coach, I wanted to be a nurse for a vet. THAT'S ALL I EVER WANTED YOU MOTHER FUCKING CUNT! I JUST WANTED TO BE A NURSE FOR SICK KITTIES AND PUPPIES AND I WANTED TO MAKE THEM BETTER AND I DIDN'T WANT TO TEACH GIRLS TO CLIMB THE ROPE! I DIDN'T WANT THAT.

So that's when you took out your dad's hunting knife and you gave it to me and you said I could still be a nurse if I cut off my big toes. And you patted me on the head and dried my tears and told me it was the only way to get into vet nurse school and not be a lesbian.

So I took off my shoe and you held your nose and told me that my feet stank. MY FEET SMELL LIKE ROSE PETALS COMPARED TO YOURS, YOU BOOGER CRUSTED HANKY! ROSE PETALS!

And I took off my sock and I cut at my big toe and it started to bleed and hurt a lot and I said, I can't do it and you said you have to, so I started sawing and hacking at my toe and I passed out a little and you slapped me until I woke back up. I started again sawing at my toe and when I hit the bone you gave me a rock and told me I had to hit the blade of the knife with the rock or I'd never be able to get through the bone.

So I did and I severed my toe and I held it in my hand and there was SO MUCH MOTHER FUCKING BLOOD, YOU MOTHER FUCKER. SO MUCH BLOOD!

And so I said, "Now I can be a nurse? Because my foot is smaller? Now I can be a nurse?"

And you said, "well, no. You have to do the other one and then they'll just grow back, so it'll be useless."

"Grow back?! Can I keep them from growing back?"

And you said, "Yeah, if you eat them. That's the only way. You have to eat your toe to keep it from growing back."

BUT THAT WAS A GODDAMN LIE! IT WAS A FUCKING LIE! Toes don't grow back, cunt. They don't grow back. I should know.

So, I ate the meat off my toe and it tasted like puke and I didn't have to cause it was never going to grow back.

And then ten years later when I was trying to get into vet nurse school, they turned me down BECAUSE OF MY GIMPY LIMP! I COULD HAVE BEEN A NURSE FOR A VET AND HELP PUPPIES BUT YOU MADE ME EAT MY OWN SEVERED TOE AND GAVE ME THIS LIMP AND I HATE YOU FOR IT!

I HATE YOU SO MUCH, YOU COCK SUCKING BITCH. YOU RUINED MY LIFE!

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