2002-08-11
3:11 p.m.

Listen, just FUCK YOU, ok? FUCK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN CLIPBOARD AND YOUR MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PLAID FUCKING VEST, OK?

Just thinking about it fills me with such rage that I can barely contain it and it has made me stink with rage which means I smell like the Devil's pits when they are infected with evil fungal growths from HELL but i used to smell like a prarie rain and you did that to me and I HATE YOU FOR IT YOU WEBBED-TOE-SUCKER! I HOPE YOU CAN SMELL ME, THAT'S WHAT I HOPE. I HOPE YOU CAN SMELL MY RAGE-STINK!

God I hate you, so mother pussy licking much. God.

It was my first vacation in MY WHOLE LIFE and all I wanted was a simple little thing that you could have given me, you could have given it, but you wouldn't. Because you're a fucker.

I walked in and said, "Hello, my name is Eunice and I am friendly and I need to have a special assistance pass, you mouse-cock sucker. So hand it over before I get nasty."

And you said, "oh?" And then you looked at me like I'd just grown a third tit, but I grew the third one at puberty and it wasn't new to me ONLY TO YOU.

So I said, "Yeah, because I need to be able to cut to the front of the line and my friend Janet told me I could get one here if I make a scene, and you don't want me to take my clothes off so you better hand it over, Tinkerbell, or I'll fucking CUT YOU!"

So you backed up against the wall, and hit the panic button and pretty soon security guards in mouse ears appeared at the entrances and they had metal poles and they were very threatening so I started to panic and I tried to run away and one of the guards took a swing at me with his pole and I ducked and slashed at his soft midsection with my flipper hand and I cut him and he started screaming because of the venom.

So I grabbed his pole and I warned the security guards to back off but they wouldn't and a big one stepped forward and said, "Bring it FREAK!"

And I said, "Better watch out. I BITE YOU PUSSY!"

And then we were circling each other because we were gonna rumble and I slashed with my flipper and he jumped out of the way and he swung with his pole and I ducked it and we circled each other some more.

And in the back ground you were screaming "Don't hurt her! Don't hurt her! She's just an angry retard!"

And then I circled in front of you and you tapped my shoulder and I turned around and you handed me a Coke and said, "Here's a Coke. You looked like you could use it!"

And when I turned back around the security guard swung his pole and he pierced my cheek and went up through my brain and emerged through the top of my head and the pole got lodged in my skull.

And I said, "OW, Mother Fucker! That hurt, Goddamnit!"

And the medic rushed over and he examined me and he said we had to leave the pole in or I'd die and he asked me a few questions and then he said, "The equilibrium or balance, so to speak, between her intellectual faculties and animal propensities, seems to have been destroyed. She is irreverent, indulging at times in the grossest profanity, manifesting but little deference for her fellows, impatient of restraint or advice when it conflicts with her desires. She is obstinate, yet capricious and vacillating, devising many plans of future operation, which are no sooner arranged than they are abandoned in turn for others."

And I said, "So do I qualify for a special assistance pass?"

And you said, "Can she have a Coke?"

And the medic said, "She qualifies."

So you handed it over and I heard you say "here you go, HANDLEBAR-HEAD!" and then you kicked me in the bar that was lodged in my skull.

BUT I ONLY DRINK PEPSI, MOTHER FUCKER! PEPSI ONLY! If you'd taken the time to get to know me, that wouldn't be a surprise, WOULD IT, PUSSY LICKER? IT WOULDN'T BE A SURPRISE AT ALL!

I sure could have used a Pepsi.

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