2002-06-03
5:21 p.m.

First of all, I hate you because you're a liar. You said, "I don't wear sparkly sparkles, dummy-head! God you're so stupid! Ignoramus!" But you posted proof on the internet, you fucking piece of SPARKLY TRASH!

DO YOU SEE THE FUCKING SPARKLES? THEY MAKE YOU A SPARKLE WEARER YOU SHIT HOLE! YOU'RE A FUCKING SPARKLE WEARER AND I HAVE THE PROOF AND NOW SO DOES ALL OF AMERICA AND THE REST OF THE WORLD EVEN GERMANY AND I HATE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SPARKLE-HEAD FOR LYING!

God I hate sparkles, but even more than that I hate sparkly liars like you.

But I don't just hate you because you're a sparkly liar. Oh, no. Not even close. I hate you because you're jealous of me. THAT'S RIGHT SPARKLE-GIRL! I know you're jealous and it pisses me off and I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT!

How do I know you're jealous? How do I know? Well, sparkle-queen, I'll tell you. I know you're jealous because you totally left me out of this entry in your pathetic excuse for a diary which is blue AND THAT MATCHES YOUR BLUE SPARKLES THAT YOU ARE WEARING IN THE PICTURES YOU PUT ON THE INTERNET, SPARKLE-BITCH!

Here's how it really went down. Me you and Lisa were at Rocking Horse Ranch because we're FUCKING GIRL SCOUTS AND THAT'S WHAT WE DO, MOTHER FUCKER! SCOUTS CAMP. EVEN PEOPLE WIHT HALF A BRAIN KNOW THAT!

So anyway we see a hottie. Tan, green eyed, muscular (damn muscular) construction worker (we thought) who stopped our car on our way to the rifle range. And you were sitting in the front seat and I was in the back and he said the way was blocked to the rifle range. So you started to try to flirt with him, but it was obvious you had never done that before because you were all *batts eyelashes* and *swoon* and shit. So I was behind you and I pulled out my left tit and I took it and pushed it up high and I stuck my tongue out and I licked my nip a bit and I took my flipper hand and put it between my legs, but I didn't touch myself because I had on pants but he couldn't tell that and he started making this face, but it wasn't at you, but you thought it was at you, but it was at me, or more acurately at my left nip and he told us how to get there.

So we got to the rifle range and I told you what I did behind you while were all *batts eyelashes.* Lisa had the rifle and you had the bow and all you would let me have was rocks to throw becuase you were mad at me. "You're such an ignoramus!" You yelled at me, but I'm a girl, not a rock, A GIRL, YOU FUCKING SPARKLE BITCH! So I threw a rock at you and you got a bruise and I said, "you better blame that on the bow or I will come to your bunk at night and I will fucking cut you sparkle bitch!

So anyway, the next day I ran into the hot construction guy while you and Lisa were in a boat, but I don't swim so good because I have to keep my colostomy bag dry so I don't do the boat. And the hot construction guy was talking to me and your mom and then we snuck off into the woods for a minute and he took out his penis and he rubbed it on the back of my flipper and he said, "I wanna rub you tonight," so I said, ok and we made plans for me to sneak out of the cabin so he could poke me good, but not for money, sparkle bitch! Only for FUN!

So then later that night, me you and Lisa were all roasting marsh mallows and you were going on and on about the hot construction guy. And then you said, "Now that I think of it, I'm not afraid of guys. I just kinda...hate them. Weird. They really make me angry for some reason. I'm totally straight and I hate guys...does this make any sense? Oh well...I'm a strange little ducky! Totally straight and afriad of guys. Totally straight! Totally!"

So I said, "Are you afraid of girls?"

And you said, "No, but since I'm totally straight, I don't have to worry about whether they like me, unless they are a popular or in a clique which DISCRIMINATES!"

So I said, "well, if you're not afraid of girls then you won't mind if I put my flipper here and sort of... rub."

And you were all, "UUUUNNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH"

So then I popped your cherry with my flipper and you squealed, and had a nap, and when you woke up, you were all, "We never did that! I'm totally straight, you ignoramous! I'm totally straight!"

So I said, "whatever," and told you to go back to sleep because it was almost time for me to sneak out and meet the hot construction guy, whose name is Tyrone, by the way, but you never did. You didn't go to sleep. You just tossed and turned and cried and bled on the sheets.

But I couldn't wait for you to go to sleep any more. I couldn't wait because I was kind of worked up after touching you like that in front of Lisa and Tyrone was waiting. So, I snuck out and went into the woods and I met Tyrone and he was doing me against a tree and I looked over his shoulder and I could see you coming because you were wearing your sparkly nightie and it was a full moon so it was especially sparkly. Way more sparkly than that shit you wear to school! Way way way way way way way more sparkly! It was super sparkly! You hear me SPARKLE BITCH? YOU HEAR ME? SUPER FUCKING SPARKLY!!!!

So anyway, you came up on us and you screamed and then you looked at me and said, "what are you doing?"

And I said, "getting some."

And you said, "Yeah, I could smell that!"

And Tyrone said, "Hey, little girl. Anyone ever tell you that sarcasm is for the weak? Well, now you know. See ya later."

And you were all "You're not as smart as you think you are! You think you're so smart, but I'm smart! I'm about ten times more intelligent than you, than both of you combined!"

And I said, "Maybe, but I'm the one with my flipper on Tyrone's balls. Now, why don't you beat it!"

So you took off, and Tyrone never did get it up again, because with all the light your sparkly nightie put off, Tyrone got a good look at my diseased cooter and I guess he got a little horrified.

So that's why I hate you! Not because you ruined my sexy tree fuck with Tyrone, the hot construction worker, but because I popped your lesbian cherry AND YOU NEVER EVEN SAID THANK YOU EUNICE FOR THE HOT FLIPPER ACTION! YOU NEVER THANKED ME SPARKLE BITCH! AND THAT'S WHY I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!

And while, I'm at it, one more thing. You may be super extra smarty-smart, But I will ALWAYS have your cherry And I'm not fucking giving it back! So why don't you go fuck yourself with a SPARKLY FENCE POST!

I HATE YOU SO MUCH I PRACTICALLY SPARKLE WITH HATE! YOU MADE ME SPARKLE AND I HATE YOU FOR THAT! IT'S A VICIOUS SPARKLE CIRCLE, YOU SPARKLE BITCH! A VICIOUS SPARKLE CIRCLE!

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