2003-02-03
4:31 p.m.

You are a mother fucking kangaroo cunt likcer and I fucking hate you! OOOOOOH! My hate for you is legend, you vomit fuck! And I don't just hate you because you are black, Vyv. Oh, no. That would be too simple. I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE THE CUNT HOLE THAT EVIL PASSES THROUGH WHEN IT IS BIRTHED INTO THIS WORLD, YOU DONKEY CUM-STAIN! Oh my God! My hate for you is bubbling on my insides like so much acid-reflux disease, you EAR-FUCKER!

I know you remember what happened so don't even lie and don't even think of backing down because I know the truth and they know the truth and we all know the truth that you are a liar who tells fucking lies. Don't even try to tell me lies, because I will cut you with a garden hoe and they ain't sharp so it'll hurt real bad.

I remember when we used to be friends, Vyv. I was just twelve or maybe thirteen and you used to live across the street from me and one day I was out in the front yard and I was crying and you came out and asked what was wrong and I told you that my sister-mommy was being mean to me and she just wanted me out of the house so she could make the love to my dad and also that she called me a midget and you put your arm around my shoulder and I told you to be careful of the blisters because they ooze pus and you told me you'd help me get my revenge.

Well, I believed you because it's well known that the differently-abled are more trusting than the rest of you and so we can be easily taken advantage of, but only evil people want to take advantage of the differently-abled on account of we have so many other problems and that makes you a queen-sized mattress which is OVER STUFFED WITH EVIL! And it also makes you a smacked baboon's ass which is even more blue because of the smacking!

So I asked you how I could get revenge on my sister-mommy when she was so beautiful that my daddy stopped being her daddy and became her husband, she was that beautiful, and you told me that you could make me as beautiful as her, which I didn't believe was possible but you convinced me.

So I said, "Vyv, how can I ever be beautiful when I have this flipper for a hand and I have this big bald spot and I have this hare-lip and I have this vestigial tail? The only part of me that I even like is my beautiful brown eyes."

And you told me we'd worry about all these problems one at a time and that you would give me a make over and by the end of it I would be beautiful like Linda Carter, but not Mexican. "Trust me, Eunice," you said. "I mean, do you think Peth was always that beautiful? No. I gave her the make over that turned her into the statuesque beauty you flipper yourself over every lunch period."

And then I asked, "how do you know I stare at Peth and put my flipper in my cooter at lunch time?"

And you said "everyone can see you, Eunice. It's not like you're hiding when you pull your skirt off and climb up on the table like that. Everybody knows." Which was a total lie, you mother fucking lie-hole! I mean, it's not like I was on stage, you son of a goat cock!

You made it sound so easy so I believed you. I mean, I was just a 'tard with a flipper and a tail and dwarfism who could be easily manipulated by mother fuckers like you, Vyv, so I went along. And the next day you came over to my house and you had a bag that said "LeRoy's Hardware and Croissants" on it. So I asked if you had pastry and you said that some of the world's best beauty supplies were sold at hardware stores, which is a lie you cunt-breath! That is a lllllllllliiiiiiiieeeeeee!

But you were convincing so I believed you. And then you said that you had a ritual before every make over where you held hands with the ugly girl and said a haiku which was also a prayer. So I held your hands and we recited that poem which I still remember.

She is so stupid.
How far will she let me go?
Say good bye, eye ball.

And when I asked you what that meant, you told me not to worry about it and that it was just an ancient tribal chant of your people, but I should have worried about it because it wasn't from your people, it was about me and what you were going to do to me!

So you told me to hold still and to stop rubbing my tits or it wouldn't work. And you reached into your bag and pulled out a bottle of "Clog-B-Gone" industrial strength drain cleaner, which is %93 sulfuric acid, and you put on a pair of rubber gloves and poured some of it into a cup and you said, "ok. Now, Eunice. When I look at you, the most repugnant thing about you is definitely that tail. I mean, the way it's articulated like that and the way it sort of points off that way on account of your scholiosis. There's really no question that the tail is your most horrifying feature."

And I said, "yeah. That's true."

And then you said, "but there's good news. Scientists from Harvard, which is the place where the smartest scientists in the world live, have discovered that if you use this correctly, your tail will just fall off during your sleep. It's a miracle, Eunice."

And I said, "how do you use it?"

And you said, "well, you have to lay on your back and I'm going to pour a little bit of this in your eye which is a direct passage to your tail. The medicine will go in and go straight to your tail and then tonight it will fall off and you can just flush it in the morning when you get up! Easy!"

"I can't wait! Let's try it!" I said.

And you said, "ok. We'll do it in one second. I should tell you though that this might sting a little, ok? But it's real important you keep your eye open as long as possible, because the longer your eye is open, the more medicine can get in, and the quicker your tail will fall off."

So I laid down on my back and you straddled my chest so I couldn't move, which was totally sexy, and you held my eye open with one hand and the rubber glove pulled the hairs in my eye brow and that totally hurt, you SAUSAGE CASING! It hurt! And then you said, "ok. On the count of three. One. Two. Three." And then you poured the Clog-B-Gone in my eye and it felt like that time I ate a battery for dinner, only inside my eye but I kept my eye open because I wanted the medicine to go to my tail and make it fall off.

And after you poured the whole cup in there, you said, "stop struggling and let the medicine work. Just let it work, Eunice." And then you kicked dirt in my face and ran away and you were laughing.

And pretty soon I felt my eye burst and orange gel sort of leaked out down my cheek and it got in my mouth and it tasted like snot, only really, really burny snot. And when my sister-mommy saw me she vomited because my empty eye sack was flapping around in my eye hole and when the ambulance came they put baking soda in my eye and it bubbled over like a Coke that got poured too fast and the doctor said he'd have to scrape out the socket and put in a glass eye and wasn't it a shame because I used to have beautiful eyes.

And I want you to know, Vyv, that I know you lied to me! I know it for sure, you yak cock-sucker! My tail never ever fell off, even though you told me it would and that makes you a L I A R I hope you burn in hell for lying to me you PIECE OF CAMEL SHIT!

I hope you burn.

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